New Beginnings – when to end and when to start

Friday December 29th 2023


This article has been written by local coach Kate Flory.

We all love new things, especially at this time of year when we’re looking to buy or make something personal, special, or just fun for those certain someones in our life. In this more challenging financial backdrop, many of us are embracing the notion that new doesn’t need to be brand new and still with the tag on, just something new for the receiver.

December is a great time to let go of the past year, past hurts and past unsatisfied hopes and to await with anticipation for the ‘something new’ that January and a fresh year brings us.

As Daphne Rose Kingma, psychotherapist and writer said, “Holding on is believing there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.”

So how do we let go of the past, in order to embrace that new future? Here’s what’s worked for me and my coaching clients.

1. Write and rip it up – if you’ve had a particularly challenging year, this letting go process of allowing your thoughts and feelings to free-flow onto a page, without censoring is a great tool. Write until you have no more grumbles, groans and oh-my-goodness thoughts to capture. Then, rip it up, burn it, shred it, or bin it – in other words – get rid of the past. We can take comfort from the words of wisdom from Nelson Mandela when he said: “The greatest glory in living lies not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.”

2. Show some empathy – we can sometimes feel let down by ourselves in what we did or didn’t do or say. We can beat ourselves up (you’ll remember I’ve spoken about our inner critics or Saboteurs before) and not forgive ourselves. So, this time, look at the situation from a place of compassion and consider instead of saying ‘ah but’ or ‘next time, I will’, you simply give yourself a virtual hug and forgive yourself. Desmond Tutu said, “Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.”

3. Turn it around – once we can show ourselves some loving kindness it’s easier to look back and then turn the situation into a gift of knowledge or an opportunity to learn and grow from. Keeping a solution-focused approach on what would be even better next year, is so much more motivating and powerful than saying what you need to change or do differently. Jim Rohn, entrepreneur and motivational speaker said, “Your life doesn’t not get better by chance. It gets better by change.”
In order for something new to be born – we need to let go and let die old habits, old hopes and out of date thinking. Once we’ve let go of the year, it’s so much easier to get excited about what the year can become, what is possible and what new found dreams and hopes we can begin to forge in our minds and in our hearts.

You can read more from Kate at 

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